What Would Justin Bobby Do?

SAVE THE DATE

2011-09-23T06:34:00.000-07:00

In 2009 one girl set out to challenge us all...

changing the way we think about running...

In 2010 one boy copied her for a grueling 26.2 miles...

Now it is 2011 and on November 6th there is only one ultrarunner left...

The countdown is on...

Make your own Countdown Clocks

Who will be next????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

NEW MUSIC from Beau and Belle

2011-09-02T06:19:00.000-07:00

NEW.

Hey Asians,

Check out the lyrics for our first single off our new album "We survive disasters 2".

It's a mash-up of Cee Lo's 'F**k You' and Dexy's Midnight Runners 'Come on Eileen'

I see you drivin' for high ground
In that FEMA truck and I'm like,
Fuck You!
Oo oo ooo
I guess the power shorting out
Wasn't enough I'm like,
Fuck You!
Fuck Irene too!
I said if I was higher, I'd be so much drier
Ha, ain't that some shit?
And now the rivers gonna crest
I got black mold in my chest
Fuck You!
Oo oo ooo

Ohhhhhhhhhh

Fuck You Irene, You made such a scene
From the moment, I felt your outttter bands.
You caused such distress and my basement's a mess
It's so dirty, fuck you Irene

Thought I survived ya, but now there's Katia
People please no need to run in fear
I need a wet vac and not a swiffer
I'd settle for a Red Close Volunteer.

Toora, loora, toora, loora, aye
Irene, I'll hum this tune foreverrrr

New Site Coming Soon

2011-08-04T07:00:00.000-07:00

Beau and Belle will never forget 4.6.11 The day our fans were swept away - not the day the music died. Just the day their comments on our blog stopped. So to raise money for the Red Cross and Blue Shield, we have decided to create a 2nd blog. Please show your support by following us on our new site dedicated to raising money for disaster relief.

excusemems.mccord/areyousmokingcrack?.blogspot.com

Too many names

2011-07-17T08:17:00.001-07:00

Beau's having a lot of trouble remembering names lately and it's scary. Not sure if it's from the nitrous tank I had permanently installed in my bedroom or just that there's been a lot of stories this summer. I feel like I JUST got Gabby Giffords in my head and now all of a sudden BAM Casey Anthony. And really this blog is a week late, it should say BAM Leiby. But the point is, too many names. Do I really need to know who Andrea Yates is?? Probably not. I have a hard enough time remembering my neighbors Lauren and Steve. I'm not saying I dont feel bad for the JonBenets and the Amanda Smarts BUT it is annoying to have to make a concerted effort to remember to spell Natalee Holloway T-A-L-E-E. That's another thing all together. Why are all these sad stories about Jaycees? or Caylees? or Haleighs? Here's a helpful tip: if you dont want your child abducted... name her Jane. Not Jayde. Not Amber. Just Jane.

I think the only name that is really important to remember is Lisa Nowak and that is because she was the astronaut that drove 900 miles in a diaper. Who does that?!

Trivia: Who was she driving to go kill? A: Colleen Shipman

The truth is I shouldn't know who any of these people are. Scott Peterson? Mary Kay Leourneau? Amanda Knox? These people are sketchy. And yes I feel bad for Laci Peterson and "Baby Grace" but after awhile it's like, alright Ann Presley enough. You don't remember Ann Presley, she was the Anchorwoman.

It's really obnoxious that I can't remember my cleaning lady (Darlene) but I can recall OJ Simpson's entire defense team. And really, don't you find that everything in the end, comes back to the Kardashians??

Two names you'll never forget: Beau & Belle.

Have a Great Summer!

2011-06-28T11:03:00.001-07:00

HAGS!

Love,

Beau + Belle

Excerpt from Beau's LitErotica Corner

2011-06-24T07:40:00.000-07:00

Costa Rica was hot and steamy. It was over 98 degrees and Paula could feel the sweat drip down her back. She was lying on her bunk bed when Jenn came in to change clothes. Jenn was from Real World: Denver. She was petite with dark hair and almond eyes. As she pulled off her shirt, Paula noticed Jenn’s lower back tattoo.

“The only thing hotter is this damn jungle” Paula thought.

Suddenly Kenny entered wearing a bathing suit and carrying a pitcher of pina coladas. Paula could always count on Kenny to break any sort of sexual tension. He grabbed Jenn from behind and started grinding up behind her. He was clearly drunk.

“Let’s go swimming” he shouted in his thick New Jersey accent.

Jenn pushed him away. “It’s too hot” she cautioned.

Kenny stared intently at Paula as if able to read her mind. He slowly reached out and pulled the string from Jenn’s bikini top. Her breasts were round and perky with small dark, erect nipples. Now they were both staring at Paula intently. She could see Kenny’s boner take form under his shorts. Paula could feel her stomach grumble, probably from hunger, her body began to yearn.

- - - For more on the Rivals exploits please keep checking WWJBD

RIVALS

2011-06-23T13:16:00.000-07:00

If there's one thing I'll never get tired of... its MTV challenges. And blogging.

Last night those of us who tuned in to the 10 Spot were given quite the treat with the premiere of Rivals, the 21st season of the challenge (21 Seasons?!) Here's the premise: everyone is teamed up with their biggest rival from the show. Sounds good to me. I honestly don't even care who they're paired up with as long as they're drinking, living in one house, and getting into fights.

When the show opens up, the question on everyone's lips is... will TJ Lavin be the host? Flashbacks to his bad bike accident are shown on screen with ominous music. We see a photo of him in casts and an induced coma in the hospital. And then, out of the darkness, walks TJ Lavin. I nearly lost it on my couch, as did the cast in Costa Rica. Sidenote, does TJ hang out with them at night and stuff? What does he do when he's not giving them instructions?

Anyway, happy days are here again, TJ is back. There are a few girls that I have no idea who they are, Cara Maria, Camilla, Mandi, Anna, Luann, Cindy... whoops wrong channel. Whatever, hi CT, hi Aneesa, hi Paula. So glad the regulars are here. HI KENNY!!!

Couple of interesting things happen.
1. CT tells us his brother was murdered and CT got shot in the back which totally changed his view on life. Whoa. What? Hopefully Lala will ask about it on the reunion. He does seem to be better but it is only day 1. Also I really hope its Lala and not Maria Menounos hosting the reunion.
2. Robin gets really Ro-motional when she gets thrown into the "Jungle" because she wants to make money for her son at home. Um, what son? I'm not sure that people on challenges should be allowed to have children unless they're Sean and Rachel in which case they can have six. Who's the baby daddy? If its Mark I'll die.
3. Paula's hair is brown now. Let's go visit her at Rogue and watch her scratch her arms... Anyone?
4. Adam Las Vegas obbbbviously gets really drunk, throws a punch, and gets sent home. After winning the first challenge with Leroy as a rookie. I wonder if he still got to keep the money? I just want to know what the hell is the matter with Adam. He is weensy. What makes him think he can take this big, steroid laden, RW challenger? Adam isn't BMOC, he's not EVAN for god sakes. Doesn't he understand that he has to sit back, be quiet, let himself get hazed by the veterans, and earn his right to be there? You always want to be the Derrick, never the Puck.
5. Who the eff is Ty that Adam punched? I've never met him before.
6. When Leroy's new partner came out and it was Mike I nearly cried. I'm not sure what was more emotional. TJ's entrance or Mike's. I wonder if this was filmed before or after the RWLV reunion where Mike and Leroy had bff bracelets on. Hmmm. Wouldn't it be a coup of they won the whole thing?!

Judging from the scenes we are in for a great season. It looked like I saw Mike kissing a girl, lots of girl on girl kissing obvi, lots of bathing suits and pool scenes, drunken fights, screaming while wearing a helmet and life preserver. I am so down with Rivals.

Never Been Gleek'd

2011-06-15T12:26:00.000-07:00

(You may recognize some of the verbiage from Josie Grossie's article at the end of Never Been Kissed)

Someone once told me that to write well you have to write what you know. This is what I know… I’m 28 years old and tomorrow night I’ll go to my second Glee concert.

A Gleek to the core, all of my Tuesday nights were spent sitting in front the TV and downloading new songs on my iTunes. Weekends were more of the same. Then at last, it seemed as if my luck was about to change. The best rhymer I knew got tickets for the 2010 concert at Radio City and we dressed up like Sue Sylvester. But it turned out that no one was else was dressed in Adidas track suits and it was a cruel joke. And I have never fully recovered.

Yes, it is embarrassing to share this with the world, but it would be hard to explain what I learned and how I learned it without sharing this humiliating history.

I got another ticket, my first as a 28 year old, to go back to the Glee tour and find out about Gleeks today. What I hope I’ll end up finding… is myself.

What I’ll end up finding is the Gleeks haven’t changed. There’s still that one George Clinton looking fan who yells at me to sit down during Don’t Stop Believin'. Those girls are still there, the ones that even as you go to more and more concerts, will remain the same age... 12.

The costumed kids, who everyone else knew as the “losers” but I just knew them as Samantha, Marisa, and Zach.

There’s still that one song, with its amazing beat, that seems so perfect in every way. The song you get up and dance to before work in the morning. The Izod center would not have been the same without it. Glee Season 2 would not have been the same without it. I would not be the same without it.

I’ve lived a year of regret after my first Glee Live experience. And now, going into my second, my regrets are down to one. A certain costume was shamed on my path to Glee Live 2010, and although this blog post may serve as a step, it in no way makes up for the public’s reaction to it.

To my fellow Gleeks, you know who you are, let’s get dressed up tomorrow night.

And I would like to add one more thing. I think tomorrow night could be the best night of our lives. And so I propose this, as an ending to this blog post and perhaps a beginning to the next chapter of my life. I, Belle the Blogger, will be at the Izod Center where my friends, the cast and crew of Glee, are performing for the masses. I will be standing in the parking lot for five minutes prior to the first song. If the other fans accept my proposal, I ask them to come get in costume with me, for my second Glee concert.

I sort of like reality TV

2011-05-11T09:32:00.000-07:00

It all started in 1992.

I was 9 and six strangers were plucked from obscurity to live in a house and have their lives taped.

"Find out what happens when people stop being polite and start getting real… The Real World"

(Today I can say that in 7 different languages)

But it was this show The Real World that ultimately changed the way I watch tv because without The Real World and Road Rules there would be no Big Brother or Jersey Shore, no Fear Factor, Survivor or Amazing Race. No The Osbournes and lets face it, The Osbournes are the founding fathers of reality TV. Without those crazy fucks we would never have Gene Simmons Family Jewels, no Run’s House, Keeping Up with the Kardashians, Newlyweds: Nick & Jessica. No Dancing with the Stars, Skating with the Stars, I'm a Celebrity...Get Me Out of Here, I Want to Work for Diddy, I Want To Be A Hilton, I Wanna Be a Soap Star. Scream Queens - would NOT exist. There’d be no True Life, Surreal Life, Simple Life, Buried Life, College Life, Dancelife, or My Life is a Sitcom. Made, Jackass, Punk'd, Life of Ryan, Pimp My Ride, Maui Fever, Rich Girls, Surf Girls, remember The Paper? Laguna Beach?? That spawned The Hills, The City, Bromance and the heinous Audrina.

None of these things would be possible without The Real World.

What would DVR be like? What would I be like??

For one thing... I’d probably read more.

But what is book smart when there is street smart? I’ve seen Celebrity Rehab and Sober House. I’ve seen Intervention, Thintervention and Hoarding: Buried Alive. Bad Girls Club taught me how to open a beer bottle with a lighter. Oprah’s Big Give taught me how to give.

I know what beauty is because I watched 8th and Ocean, Models NYC and The Agency.

I’ve probably learned just as much about the world watching Sarah Palin’s Alaska as I have Paris Hilton’s My New BFF.

And while there will always be my interest in the celebrity(Being Bobby Brown, Ashlee Simpson Show, Tommy Lee Goes to College, Living Lohan, Salt n’ Pepa, Hey Paula, Leave it to Lamas, Kimora Life in the Fab Lane, Victoria Beckham: Coming to America, Chaotic: Britney and Kevin, Fantasia For Real, 50 Cent: Money and the Power, Diddy’s Making the Band and my all time favorite Snoop Dogg’s Father Hood) it’s the shows about “real" people that seem to inspire me the most. "Real" people like Matt and Amy Roloff, Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar, Kody and his wives Meri, Janelle, Christine and Robyn Brown.

These people are my family. They’re who keep me real.

Oh, and also the meerkats on Meerkat Manor.　

Love? What do I know about love? I know Flavor of Love, Rock of Love, A Shot at Love, For Love or Money, I Love Money, I Love New York, Daisy of Love, Megan Wants a Millionaire, Real Chance of Love, Bachelor, Bachelorette, Temptation Island, and Frank the Entertainer: a Basement Affair and did I ever tell you I know someone who knows someone that was on Paradise Hotel (2nd season).

I've seen when love works.

My Fair Brady, Khloe & Lamar, Tori & Dean, Harry Loves Lisa, Giuliana & Bill

And when it doesn't

Liza & David, 'Til Death Do Us Part: Carmen & Dave, Jon & Kate plus 8, Viva La Bam, Meet the Barkers, Hogan Knows Best

And whenever Super Sweet 16 gets old you can just change to 16 and Pregnant

Or Teen Mom

Or Teen Mom 2.

Which brings me to something...the wives. Oh, how I love me some wives.

Mob Wives, Basketball Wives, Football Wives, Ex Wives Club, and all the Real Housewives.

And the original ‘housewife’... The Anna Nicole Show

But if I had to pick a favorite. If Police Women of Broward County had a gun to my head and made me choose. I would have to say, American Idol. But I’ll settle for America’s Next Top Model, America’s Best Dance Crew, or America’s Got Talent or if I’m really desperate America’s Next Great Restaurant.

I like anything with America in the title.

And to think all this good old fashion American entertainment is because of one show. The Real World.

What a world.

Executive Assistant to Good Looking CEOs

2011-03-04T09:04:00.000-08:00

Who are we? Beau and Belle are two high powered/super important bloggers with busy social lives and even more demanding TV schedules. The 2011 calendar has been filling up and they, like Bethenny, are having trouble doing it all while having it all. Beau wanted to turn to Xanax, Belle suggested finding an assistant.

Who are you?:
- Education requirements: 4 year college degree plus two years experience watching The Office(British or American)
- Computer skills: Working knowledge of PerezHilton.com and faceinhole.com (though Beau will retain control as artistic director), manage our iTunes accounts (download desired GLEE songs immediately following episodes - must have at least 20 GLEE songs on your iPod)
- Technical skills - ability to set both Beau and Belle's DVRs remotely (they don't know how)
- Athletic skills - must be able to run at least a half marathon (relatedly, must be comfortable carrying nipple guards at all times)
- Must be able to manage multiple movie reward accounts including Clearview and Regal (balancing reward points and managing medium soda coupons)
- Must have an outgoing personality and be able to make a lot of contacts, preferably in the reality television star space - MTV, BRAVO, VH1, E!, TLC, WE, Animal Planet, A&E, LOGO, and BET
- Preferably from one of the following towns: Beverly Hills 90210, Laguna Beach, or 8th and Ocean
- Netflix membership is a plus (must know movies quotes (at least 5 from Titanic))
- Text response time of under two minutes
- Discretion and ability to maintain the individual’s privacy as well as confidentiality of all corporate, personnel and research matters ie. Not afraid to unclog the toilet at a moments notice

Beau and Belles 2011 Oscar Predictions

2011-02-25T11:13:00.000-08:00

The Academy Awards are this Sunday and we are anxious to see who will win? Who will wear what? And will this weekend be enough to send Rachel Zoe into labor? So while we know some people are shoe-ins (Colin Firth for The King’s speech and who we coincidentally predict for this year’s Best Speech) we thought it might be fun to predict some of Beau and Belles favorite categories.

Who will be made fun of the most? All signs point to Charlie but the Academy loves past winners. We should expect to hear a lot of Mel Gibson jokes(hopefully the one about Mel Gibson, Rabbi Shmooey and the 12 inch kielbasa)

Another category that we look forward to, who will have a white moment? Hopefully Cameron Diaz will stay home and eat popcorn. We predict this year’s white moment will go to J Hudson and sponsored by Weight Watchers.

Who is the most likeliest write in vote? We’re not sure if it’s ever happened before but we think this year might be the first and if anyone is going to win as a write in it should be Amanda Byne’s transformative portrayal of Marianne the ‘priss’ in Easy A.

Best Picture will undoubtedly go to Social Network, only because Ghosts of Girlfriends Past is not nominated.

Can't wait to find out which predictions comes true!

You can't stop the JETS

2011-01-25T11:20:00.000-08:00

- sung to Hairspray's You Can't Stop The Beat

You can’t stop a running back
As he races down the field
You can try to stop the offense, boy
But ya know you never will
And you can try to ban my touchdown dance
But I just cannot stand still

Cause the ball keeps spiraling
Round and round
And my cleats keeping digging
In the ground
I was lost til I heard the shouts
Then I found my way

Cause you can't stop the Jets

Ever since the IZOD stadium came
Sanchez realized if he played hard
He could change up the game
And so I’m gonna drink and party
The best that I can today.

Beau and Belle's 2010 Recap

2010-12-20T18:37:00.000-08:00

Top 5 Reality TV Moments (this list clearly sponsored by Bravo)
1. The Salahi's break into the White House - RHODC
2. Allison Dubois and her electronic cigarette - RHOBH
3. Scary Island - Housewives of NYC visit St John and KKB loses her sh*t
4. Nene to Greg "Ah have NEY-VA done. you. wrong!"
5. Heidi unveils 10 plastic surgeries

Top 5 Hookups
1.Taylor Swift and Jake
2. Jessica Bowers and Justin Bieber
3. Kim Zolciak and her baby daddy
4. Chelsea Handler and 50 cent
5. Kurt and Blaine (does it get any better than Teenage Dream?? Can you say Gay Glee Love 10 times fast??)

Top 5 Breakups
1. Jesse and Sandra
2. Scarlett and Ryan
3. Heidi Montag and Darlene Egelhoff
4. Simon Cowell and American Idol
5. Jill Zarin and Bethenny Frankel

Top 5 Beau and Belle moments
1. Beau running the NYC marathon! (he's so fast, the camera can't even focus)

2. Celebrating Belle's 27th bday at the glee live concert (adidas track suits and all)

3. Coming up with our Top 5 lists for 2010
4. Bronx Zoo 5k (the snow leopard, the polar bear, the bison, it was all amazing)
5. Adventurous run to Liberty State Park

Top 5 Books (did you know Beau and Belle are book buddies among other things? Well that just ended when Beau got a kindle for Hanukah. Beau reports that the books on Kindle have different endings so we can no longer be book buddies. This could be a top breakup)
1. Girl With The Dragon Tattoo - Stieg Larsson
2. Born To Run - Christopher Mcdougall

3. Mockingjay - Suzanne Collins
4. Freedom - Jonathan Franzen
5. The Help - Kathryn Stockett

Top 5 New Shows
1. Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, BRAVO (thank you Andrew Cohen)
2. The Walking Dead, AMC
3. Sisterwives, TLC (so good)

4. Bridalplasty, E!
5. Belle just discovered ABC's Modern Family and wants that as the 5th. Beau wants Animal Hoarders as his 5th.

Top 5 Movies we saw together
1. Harry Potter 7 Part 1 (tears were shed) - "Dobby never meant to kill! Dobby only meant to maim, or seriously injure!"
2. Easy A - "I want a one hundred dollar gift card deposited into my locker by noon tomorrow. Preferably to The Gap, but I'd also take Amazon.com, or Office Max. Actually make it Office Max - I have my eye on a label maker."
3. The Social Network - "If you guys were the inventors of Facebook, you'd have invented Facebook."
4. Burlesque - "Alice, hmm? Well, welcome to Wonderland."
5. Toy Story 3 - "Oh! That's just a dinosaur toy down the street, that's nothing, let just take care of that."

If There Had Been Glee Club In High School...

2010-12-07T09:14:00.001-08:00

... I wouldn't have had to lie to my mom and pretend I was in winter track.

... Our homemade production of Scream would have been a musical, with numbers such as "I Don't Want to Die Tonight," "Sydney, Sydney," and "You Can't Stop the Blade."

... I wouldn't have eaten lunch alone in the auditorium.

... But I would have eaten tots with Mercedes. Even had a Tot-Off to raise money for a handicapped bus for sectionals.

... I would have had an extracurricular activity that wasn't a lie on my college applications.

... I wouldn't have denied my Jazz Band membership from the 8th grade.

... I wouldn't have bought so many Coke slurpees from 7-11 because they were always getting thrown in my face.

... I wouldn't have worked at a supermarket.

... My entrance to the Winter Gala wouldn't have involved a water bottle filled with vodka and an Apple and Eve juicebox. It would have been a flash mob dance-off to "All I Want For Christmas is You."

... I would have had a part in a school play. Instead of Asian Tourist #2.

... We would have started this blog 10 years ago.

Scream 4-15-2011

2010-12-02T07:27:00.000-08:00

Every generation a movie comes along that will change the way we think. Wizard of Oz, Citizen Kane, Schindler’s List, Avatar. For Beau that film was Scream 1,2 + 3. Mainly Scream 2 but for the purpose of this blog entry I’ll say Scream 1,2 + 3. “WELL THERE’S ONE THING YOU’RE FORGETTING ABOUT BILLY LOOMIS… I FUCKING KILLED HIM” (Sorry. I have Scream tourettes where I get an uncontrollable urge to shout or type quotes from these movies) I was thrilled when production started on my favorite film franchise because I had honestly thought the ghost face killer had tripped over his final sofa, or popped out of his last closet, or had sliced his metallic blade into the soft fleshy torso of his final victim… but no... he’s back! I’LL SEND YOU A COPY. BAM! BITCH WENT DOWN And one thing I’ve learned from watching the trailer fourteen hundred times is that he’s stronger, scarier and deadlier than ever. Scream 4 promises to be another meta movie, where the killer is actually filming his own murders and if you pause the trailer at 0:48 you can see him setting up a camera for Gale to find. SURPRISE SURPRISE SOMEONE DIES AND GALE COMES RUNNING. This movie looks great and the best part is, it's coming to theaters so soon!

Make your own Countdown Clocks

RIP Old Rose

2010-09-27T11:27:00.000-07:00

RIP Old Rose (Gloria Stuart - 1910 to 2010)

We will always remember you as Old Rose. We will keep you close in our hearts, near, far, wherever you are.

Belle's favorite Old Rose quote - "You mean, did we 'do it'? Sorry to disappoint you Mr. Bodine, but Jack was very professional."

Beau's favorite Old Rose quote - "It's been 84 years, and I can still smell the fresh paint. The china had never been used. The sheets had never been slept in. Titanic was called the Ship of Dreams, and it was. It really was."

Cyber Bully

2010-09-24T13:14:00.000-07:00

- sung to Lady Gaga's 'Paparazzi'

Dedicated to our favorite anonymous commentator

You are a nut
When act-acting out
what would j bobby do
here's a link for a clue
It's so technical
Our blogspot's so fantastical

Comments and screens
You can't handle us
Not sure what gidget means
But your comments enough
And you paid the price
Ready for a cyber fight
'Cause we know that baby, You're

You're our biggest fan
Your comments were disbanded, sorry
Cyber, Cyber Bully
You are just the worst, a psychopathic turd, a Nazi
Cyber, Cyber Bully

Goodbye New Orleans

2010-09-15T20:15:00.000-07:00

The following is a series of texts sent between Beau and Belle September 15, 2010

Subject: Real World finale

Belle -> Beau 10:00pm
Ok make your prediction, who will be the last one to leave? i think knight

Beau -> Belle 10:10pm
I think Jemmye. god pablo was a good time

Belle -> Beau 10:11 pm
Right? Also who did he tell that bad stuff to? Was that a facebook status? I didn't get it

Beau -> Belle 10:14pm
I think he was talking to her friend. I love the house

Belle -> Beau 10:15pm
I'm like crying this is so good

Beau -> Belle 10:15pm
Vanette is adorable

Beau -> Belle 10:28pm
What a GREAT group of people

Belle -> Beau 10:28pm
I want so badly to be at that crawfish boil, I tweeted ashlee

Beau -> Belle 10:36pm
I'm definitely going to cry

Belle -> Beau 10:37pm
Omg I don't want to say goodbye, I'm alternating crying and grinning

Beau -> Belle 10:42pm
I'm dying I cant watch this its too sad. Marty!

Belle -> Beau 10:44pm
This is the saddest thing I've ever watched

Belle -> Beau 10:44pm
You're right it will end with jemmye

Beau -> Belle 10:45pm
I've been to a concentration camp. And I didnt cry this much

Belle -> Beau 10:46pm
This better end with scenes from the reunion, I'm devasted

Beau -> Belle 10:49pm
Ashlee better do challenges

Great season! Thanks for the memories!!!

Love,

Beau + Belle

Going to the Movies Rap

2010-07-08T06:47:00.000-07:00

Heading to the movies gonna get me some Starburst
EAT, PRAY, LOVE starring Julia Roberts
The girl behind the counter asks if I'm a movie star.
Thank you Consuelo, I'm a fan of Avatar
I SEE YOU
Yeah I'm painted bright blue
NO I SEE YOU
Bitch I see you too.
I punch her in the face and I take my Kettle corn
Head into the theater cause thats where my movie's shown.
I dont mess around
When it comes to finding seats
Like to get there really early so I can nom on all my treats.

WWJBD GOES GLOBAL!!!!

2010-01-27T06:27:00.000-08:00

Beau's Haiku

we love you Asia
konichiwa yes we do
we love all our fans

2010-01-26T07:10:00.000-08:00

Teen mom
Romance
Umbilical cord
Engagement

Loving Carly
Orphan
Valentine's Day
Entertainment

Jersey Paradise

2009-12-10T08:10:00.000-08:00

--- sung to Coolio's Gangsta's Paradise

(Belle)
As I walk down the turnpike in the Garden State
I take a look at my fist
And realize there's no pump left.
'Cause I've been tanning and waxing so long
That even my momma think that my hair be blonde.
But I ain't never crossed a guido that didn't work it.
I be talking all guidette, you know that I'm flirtin'
You betta watch how ya vibin'
And where youre drvin'
Or your Nissan Sentra will be lined in chalk
I really hate to sleep so I got Red Bull
As I take a sip, I'm a Soprano.
Bitch, I'm the kinda guidette little homie's wanna be with
On my knees in the night,
Poof my hair til it's just right.

(Beau)
Tell me whyyy are we,
so tan? You see,
The package deal,
Got us one tan free.

Been spendin' most my life,
Livin' in a Jersey paradise
Been spendin' most my life,
Living' in a Jersey paradise

What's your Jersey Shore name???

2009-12-08T08:55:00.000-08:00

Haven't you always wondered how to figure out your Jersey Shore name?! Luckily, Beau and Belle are here to help

First name:
Guys - take the first 4 letters of your first name, and add "ello" to the end
Girls - take the first 4 letters of your first name, and add "ina" to the end

Last name:
The name of your favorite pizzeria! (singular form of course)

Sooo.... we are Bellina Filippo and Beauello Ferraro

Whats your Jersey Shore name??

I Won't Kill You Bella

2009-11-19T07:30:00.000-08:00

- - - - sung to Rihanna's Umbrella

Don't have a beating heart
Dont like to be blocks apart
Baby in Forks Washington
You can be my heroin

Bella, cause in the dark
I drive you in my shiny car
Thats when you get so scared
Girl I can see so clear

BECAUSE

When the sun shines, I like to glitter
Told you I will live forever
Said I'll always be your Vamp
Sort of died, But I can still be your man.

Now that your bloods sweeter than ever,
Know that I will hurt you never
I won't kill you Bella
I won't kill you Bella

(Bella Bella, eh eh eh)
I Won't kill you Bella
(Bella Bella, eh eh eh)
I Won't kill you Bella
(Bella Bella, eh eh eh)
I Won't kill you Bella
(Bella Bella, eh eh eh)

Gossip Girl Here....

2009-11-11T13:25:00.000-08:00

Spotted: Chaunte LeBlanc and Anna Stimson having a massive bitch fight on FaceBook. Looks like someone's going to have to help these two Hawaiians save face...

(The following took place on Chaunte Le Blanc's Facebook page. She updated her status and these are Anna's comments. Chaunte deleted them within minutes, but lucky for our fans, Beau and Belle were watching the action and documented EVERYTHING)

11/3/09, 1:57 pm
Chaunté: Im living for myself and nobody else

2:18 pm
Chaunte: you have to be selfish sometimes, otherwise you'll get stepped on.

2:24 pm
Anna: WOW. You are out of your fucking mind."

2:26 pm
Anna: Betraying someone who has always been loyal to you is definitely the way to live your pathetic little fucking life. When are you gonna fucking GET IT?!"

2:27 pm
Anna: Hooking up with your "friends dude"...it DEFINITELY something you should be selfish about. Because that's something you would get 'stepped' on with. Fucking whore."

2:32 pm
Anna: Hypocrite. Liar. Slut. Insecure. Selfish. PATHETIC. I can't think of any more words that discribe you. You have a ROTTEN heart, and EVERYONE who knows YOU, knows it."

11/4, 2:15 am
Chaunte: i'm over drama.

Disclaimer: The founders of this blog in no way condone the filthy language used by these two Maui Fever stars. This is merely a report on the facts and not a reflection upon Beau and Belle. But it is... because they got the exclusive. Aren't you proud of us, Erin? You should fire Olivia and hire us.

It's time to start thinking about your snacks

2009-11-09T09:55:00.000-08:00

Make your own Countdown Clocks

A Coincidence? Or Bunim/Murray staged???

2009-11-05T06:52:00.000-08:00

It’s no secret that one of my favorite shows on TV right now is Real Road Rules Whatever. Every year I get to check up on my favorite people and watch them compete in demeaning and ridiculous challenges. Last night they were made to throw fruit over a 10 foot wall. Not to sound all Angelina but there are still people starving, right? So anyway I couldn’t help but notice that one of this season’s storylines felt a little recycled. Like I had seen it before somewhere… and that’s when it hit me.

So what do we know about this cast of characters and their comic book counterparts? We know Wes dates both KellyAnne and Johanna. Like his red headed doppelganger. And we know KellyAnne is Betty, the girl next door with a major crush on Wes, I mean Archie. Then there is Johanna, the Peruvian Princess who like Veronica is spoiled and bratty and sometimes mean to Jughead…oh Jughead. Don’t count him (or Cahutta) out just yet because they may seem a bit “slow” but they are both very clever. Oh and Cahutta pines after KellyAnne! There are just too many similarities and now my head is spinning.

GOOD LUCK BELLE!

2009-10-30T07:31:00.001-07:00

On Sunday Nov 1, Belle will be running 26.2 miles thru the 5 boroughs of Manhattan. In case you can't comprehend 26.2 miles let me break it down for you... Thats 2 True Lifes, 2 episodes of The Hills, 2 episodes of The City and a 30 ROCK on HULU. GOOD LUCK TO BELLE AND ALL OF THIS YEARS RUNNERS!

Love can touch us one time and last for a lifetime

2009-10-13T11:07:00.000-07:00

Beau's favorite quote - "Put your hands on me, Jack"

Belle's favorite quote - "What? Do you think a first class girl can't drink?"

Tell us some of your favorite Titanic quotes.

Justin Bobby Puzzle

2009-10-07T11:21:00.000-07:00

The rest is still unwritten...

2009-10-07T10:47:00.000-07:00

While I'll always have a special place in my heart for Lauren Conrad, I think Belle is right on the money when she says season 6 does not disappoint. Male or Female who doesn't want to be a pair of Kristin Cavallari's shorts??? The girl is smoking hot and knows it. The bitch is back and I haven't seen this much slutty action since I started watching TLC's Police Women of Broward County.

As for Justin Bobby, who would have ever thought that he would come full circle. Here is a man who once made my skin crawl when he appeared on tv, one year later and I'm wearing combat boots everywhere! Justin Bobby is badass!!! From his aloof quotes "here's to truth and time" to his aloof professions (hairstylist, musician, reality tv superstar) - he is a modern day renaissance man - like Hugh Jackman only better because he's American. I love love love Justin Bobby this season, however, it is only episode 2 and only truth and time will tell whether he'll crash and burn like Jason Wahler or rise up from the ashes like Frankie Delgado rose from whatever third world nation he was born in. I think we all agree, we're excited to see what happens.

So in honor of The Hills and our blog... here are some haikus

Lauren, I miss you
but I do agree with Belle
that the Bitch is Back

Wes is a psycho
everyone knows this. So why
do a show with him?

I hope that one day
T.J. Lavin and Whitney
Port, will procreate.

Beau and Belle Spill all the Secrets

2009-10-07T07:28:00.000-07:00

Beau and Belle watch a lot of TV. A lot. We're also really observant and over the years we've come to recognize some familiar faces showing up in unexpected places throughout our fav reality TV shows. Below are some connections that we're pretty sure you don't know about it. And that's what we're here for.

Frankie Delgado - The Hills and Laguna Beach season 2: 'Whaaaat??' you may be thinking. Its true folks. Remember the Fight the Slide 2005 benefit put on by Trey, Lauren Stephen and Dieter to raise money after the landslide?? Well, when Talan is singing, we all remember Jessica dancing on Jason's lap (prelude to the infamous scene 'I saw you kiss her!'). Guess who is sitting next to Jason?? Frankie.

Whitney Port - The Hills and... The Hills. Okay okay, yeah yeah we all have seen Whitney on The Hills, who cares Beau and Belle?? Well, I bet you didn't notice that when Lauren goes for her first interview at Teen Vogue, Whit is sitting behind the desk as the receptionist. Hmph. New intern my ass.

Roxy Olin - The Hills and... the City. Oh, Roxy is just this secret best friend from Whitney's childhood? Try again motherfellas. Girl is Stephanie Pratt's former bestie. Think back to The Hills when Lauren and Heidi tensions were at an all time high. Remember when Lauren was at a club with Brody when she saw Steph for the very first time? Steph yelled at her, saying things like "Heidi's my family now." Who was her sidekick?? Roxy baby.

Joe from Elle Magazine (aka Olivia and Erin's boss) - The City and....The Rachel Zoe Project - Mmmmhmmm... you can see him sitting next to RZ during Paris fashion week. He is no joke.

Christina and Whitney: Unlikely friendship - Christina who? Oh, just Christina the singing Christian from Laguna Beach season 1. Guess who her freshman year roommate was?? Whitney Port.

Casey and Doug... brother and sister?!? That's right. Who here remembers The New Girl in Laguna Season 2?? She had individuals that looked like shit, according to KCav, and she spread lots of rumors about Alex M. Well, she is just 8 months and 10 days younger than her older brother Doug Reinhardt, former flame of LC and on-again, off-again boyfriend of Paris Hilton. They share dimples, and a mom.

The Hills are Alive!!

2009-10-07T07:26:00.000-07:00

The Bitch is back (and so are Beau and Belle). Wow, season 6 does not disappoint. KCav is the best; let's face it... none of us miss LC. Sure she always had amazing pearls of wisdom well beyond her years, but girlfriend was far too composed and grownup for entertainments' sake. KCav acts her age, and we love it. The scene of her shouting, "Its on bitch!" can only be rivaled by Kandi's retort to NeNe at He-man's independence party "stop talkin' to me or I'll be blowin' up on yo ass!"

I felt gleeful watching Steph and Drina cower at Bitch's presence during Speidi's "welcome back from our phony-moon" party. I don't even hate those girls, but it just felt like it was time for them to be taken down a notch, and we have just the gal to do it. Honestly, KCav is cool and she knows it. She watches Lakers games and wears short shorts with heels and isn't afraid to seduce. I just wish Alex H was slouching by your side through it all.

And okay, who IS Justin Bobby these days?? He's smiling, wearing suspenders, and has eyes that can mesmerize. The scraggly haired adolescent who burps at the dinner table is so last season, and the change is a welcome one.

"This season on... The Hills" totally blew my mind. I saw someone throw something at someone else. I don't know who it is, but that shit definitely did not happen when LC was around. Was Spencer right all along?

COUNTDOWN HILLS SEASON 6

2009-09-22T06:39:00.000-07:00

Make your own Countdown Clocks

Movie Quote Game

2009-08-05T10:27:00.000-07:00

Beau's favorite quote - "Excuse me. Coming through. My mother needs a perch."

Belle's favorite quote - "I've heard so much about you." "All bad I hope...."

The first person to comment the correct answer will win a secret…good luck.

CONGRATULATIONS!

Movie Quote Game

2009-08-04T08:09:00.000-07:00

Beau and Belle love blogging and more than blogging we love quoting the same movies over and over. Today we would like to extend our joy to our countless fans living in cyberland. So we will share our favorite quotes from a film and the first person to comment the correct answer will win a secret…good luck.

Belle's favorite line : "so hes kind of tall, and he wears tshirts... sometimes?"

Beau's favorite line: "those shoes...do they serve an orthopedic function?"

CONGRATULATIONS!!!

2009-07-09T07:33:00.000-07:00

Dear Liz Gately,

Please tell your friends over at Bunim/Murray productions to stop allowing viewers from choosing a final Real World roommate. Time and time again the public votes and time and time again they pick shitty cast members. We all remember Greg, and we all remember how quickly we'd like to forget him.

This season we are plauged by Ayiia, the self proclaimed B I T C H of the house. She wasn't chosen by your elite production staff for a reason. That reason being she's marginally retarded and causes unnecessary drama which continuously ruins the harmonious house dynamic your production office spent hours creating.

I ask only this, to look at history - Jesse Camp, Richard Hatch, George W. Bush (Twice), Kris Allen - Remember these beautiful mistakes before you ask us to commit another.

Love with all my heart,

Beau

Nuttin' But an NJ Thang

2009-06-17T10:57:00.000-07:00

Yo Belle, whats trickin? Its your favorite blogger Beau
I say we take a drive down to Le Chateau
I wanna see 'dem ladies from that crazy Bravo show,
Let's break it down for ya'll, and tell you what we know.

Teresa, hun, what the hell were you thinkin'?
Watching the last supper it was clear you was drinkin'!
You so drunk, making things obscene-a,
be a good mother, and take Gia to Wilhemina!
Teresa so hot, it must be from water aerobics
Too bad her husband Joe is a tad homophobic.

Carolines daughter don't wanna wax no chucky,
Carolines her moms! She should be so lucky.
Caroline's a bitch or so I heard
I once was attacked by her baby german shepard,
until I threw that baby, a damn doggy bone
then threw a party at the classy Brownstone

Hey Beau?
Yeah Belle!
I wanna read cop without a badge
I hear theres some talk about danielles sweaty vag
She so crazy, you hear she was a stripper?
if I saw her in the club, you know that I'd tip her (get a job!)
If she workin da club, you know she gettin tips,
How the hell else you think she paid for dem big ass lips?

Dina's hubby, thanks to you she dont need no job,
Too bad its cuz you runnin' with the Franklin Lakes mob.
Hey Dina, honey, you can't stop Lexi,
Puberty's a bitch, and she's going to be dead sexy
Dina, I love you, but sometimes you need a slap
and that tacky house of yours is chock full of crap.

Jacqueline, you're a sweetheart and your time is in demand,
Quit dragging CJ to your friends house, let him grow to be a man
Jacqueline baby, you are far too nice,
You could learn a thing or two from Ms. Crazy GuidICE.

Dang these ladies sure know how to bring the drama,
It's cool cuz I'm sure they all good mamas.
Watching them at dinner what they need is restitution,
Whatever, peace out, see ya'll at the reunion.

Mother Belle's Nursery Rhymes

2009-06-09T11:08:00.001-07:00

(To Three Blind Mice)
Three blonde girls
See them on the Hills
They all moved in to scream and fight
They cut each other down with a carving knife
Did you ever see such a sight in your life?
as three blonde girls?

(To Jack and Jill)
Heidi and Spence went down to 'Rica to cash in on buckets of money,
Heidi got sick and Spencer's a dick and nobody thinks that they're funny!

(To Humpty Dumpty)
Lauren Conrad starred in a show,
Lauren Conrad, Season 6 is no mo'
All the producers and all of the fans,
Couldn't get Lauren on the show again!

(To Five Little Pigs)
Lauren went to the market
Lo stayed home
Heidi had some roast beef
Spencer had none
Audrina cried "wee, wee, wee, wee!"
All the way to the MTV Movie awards.

(To Little Miss Muffet)
Little Miss Patridge, sat on a mattress
Trying not to look vacant and dumb.
Then along came Chris Pine and fed her some wine,
And gave Little Miss Patridge some fame.

Queen Belle

2009-05-08T09:42:00.001-07:00

ALL HAIL, QUEEN BELLE!

Unbloggen

2009-05-05T06:35:00.000-07:00

Sung to Natasha Bedingfield's UNWRITTEN

I am a blogger
I like to blog
Blog on my blog

It’s called What
Would justin bobby do
It’s in cyberlaaaaaand

Staring at the sweatpants before you
Open up a bag of doritos
Let the taste illuminate the night that you have now planned
Reaching for the remote control on the table
So close it’s almost 10 pm
Turn on your television.
Watch the Hills on your set
No one else can watch it for you
Only you - high definition
No one else, no one else
Can type the words on your screen
Think of blogs you’ve left unspoken
Sing along if you like joking.
Tonight is where your blog begins
Next verse is still unbloggen.

STAY SAFE

2009-05-01T08:52:00.000-07:00

Hello all,

I just wanted to remind everyone to stay safe, wash your hands, and if you feel sick buy some oinkment.

Love,

Beau

Beau's Poetry Corner

2009-04-24T08:37:00.000-07:00

Go Kimberly Go
You are my favorite girl
On this year’s Challenge

Stop crying Paula
You always trust the bad boys
Paula, you’re a mess

I fell in love with a girl named Grace
She was 15 and felt out of place
She moved away, my heart is still reeling
Gone for a year, living in New Zealand

I fell in love with a girl named Grace
She was 15 with an awkward face
To make friends she used sports as her ticket
But couldn’t play soccer, had to learn cricket

I fell in a love with a girl named Grace
Halfway around the world, I still would chase
Her skin is smooth, her hair silky brown
And she hates being known as the new girl in town.

Beau's Whenever He Feels Like It Wrap Up

2009-04-24T06:54:00.001-07:00

And now WWJBD proudly presents a news report from Beau.

Heyyyyyyy cyberworld, it’s me… Beau. Crazy and scary things have been happening this week for both Madonna and Beau. Madonna was hospitalized after being thrown from a horse Saturday in Bridgehampton, England. Luckily, she had Jesus there with her. Beau had no one this week when he discovered his father was caught trying to sell him to an undercover newspaper reporter for 300K (and by K I mean 300 knishes). In happier news, Heidi Montag is set to wed Spencer Pratt this weekend at the Beverly Hills Wilshire. Despite pressure from MTV producers, Lauren Conrad claims she will not be in attendance. Controversy erupted this week during the Miss USA pageant when Miss California said marriage should be between man and woman. Beau is over this marriage debate, he’d rather focus on more important news like how Kendall and Kylie Kardashian aren’t twins yet somehow the exact same. Celeb spotting of the week – America Ferrera filming a scene for Ugly Betty outside City Hall. This made Beau wish he were Latino. Did you hear that Liz Gately? I want to be Made: Latino.

FELIZ DIA DE LA TIERRA!!! Con mucho amor, beau y belle

2009-04-22T06:24:00.000-07:00

Saved by the Belle

2009-04-21T10:31:00.000-07:00

Just when you were wondering why Perez wasn't writing about last night's episode of the Hills... Belle to the rescue. I prefer lists.

1. Justin Bobby looked absolutely awful last night. As Beau said, "He looked like Adrien Brody in the Pianist." He was disgusting; very reminiscent of when we were first introduced.
2. Audrina, on the other hand, looked amaaaazing. Wow, she must have gotten a new makeup artist. And I was so excited to see she ditched her previous bouffant-messy-ponytail-hairstyle. Yay Lauren Conrad braids!
3. Sleazy T - why have we never met Sleazy T before? I want to know how he knows the group. He was giving Audrina lots of sage advice, but is he one of the bros? Brought in by Frankie? Or... is he one of Audrina's friends, and if so, was he the one who told her JB and LC hooked up???
4. Stephanie Pratt hard at work is wonderful. I loved the panic on her face when Lauren was going back to work after Kelly Cutrone yelled at her. "Where are you going?" (sheer terror in her eyes). I'd be scared too, but its way funnier to watch Stephanie go through it.
5. And I just loved watching Lauren be her boss. Ha. Sidenote, how good did Steph look in that scene with the neat ponytail and the orange dress?
6. Dr Mansbacher. Liz Gately and Adam Divello, you two are just so good at what you do. I love them for giving Speidi a therapist named Mansbacher. It's perfect. And like, can they at least pretend they are in actual therapy? That was one of the more cringeworthy scenes. It's all so ridiculous. We all know they're getting married on Saturday (rehearsal dinner Friday night at Cut, anyone?).
7. Brody's GF - I forget her name and don't feel like googling it, but her face looked like she'd had some nip/tuck, huh? She had the facelift eyes. And seriously, when Audrina was talking to Brody and she asks a friend, "Who is that girl Brody is talking to?" Give me a break, Brody's gf. Like you don't know who Audrina Patridge is???
8. Beau and Belle both wish they were going on the surfing trip to Hawaii.

You know you love me,
XOXO

SECURRRRITY!!! BOBBY, CALL SECURITY!

2009-04-20T08:33:00.000-07:00

So this Sunday Beau and Belle decided to take a little NYC day trip to one of their favorite TV destinations, Zarin Fabrics. For Beau it was a religious experience walking into Zarin Fabrics. He said to Belle, "this is what it must be like for Jews or Christians to walk into those ancient Israeli Temples or what a Muslim making the great Hajj pilgrimage to Mecca must feel."

Once inside, Beau and Belle were struck by the beauty of the place. They almost expected to hear Jill screaming "Fabric Fabric Fabric" or see Allyson fatigued by rheumatoid arthritis lounging in a living room display area.

What struck Belle was the history of the Fabric store. A third generation company that is nestled in the heart of lower east side Manhattan. "I've died and gone to real housewife heaven" she was quoted as saying as she took in the memorabilia from the Oscar winning tv show.

Busted Interviews

2009-04-14T12:47:00.001-07:00

The Award for Best Interview on the Hills goes to... Whitney Port
Who: Alixe @ DVF
Why: start of the The Hills spin off The City
What: Kelly recommends that Whitney fly to NYC to interview for a job at DVF and to no one's surprise Whitney nails her interview, once again demonstrating her ability to maintain cool, calm and collected. Key line - "I wouldn't have taken this interview if I wasn't serious about it(moving to the City)"
Favorite Moment - the clackity clacks of women's high heels on the DVF stairwell

The Award for Worst Interview on the Hills goes to.... Stephanie Pratt!
Who: Kelly Cutrone, Peoples Revolution
Why: LC recommended her
What: Total Disaster. Stephanie had clearly never watched a previous season of the Hills and got eaten alive by Kelly. Kelly reads between the lines to see that she wants to use her contacts to build her own handbag line. (But really Kelly, what about hte Lauren Conrad Collection? You're not pissed about that?) The whole interview was so painful. Kelly made it Lauren's problem. Brilliant
Favorite moment: When Stephanie asked if the labels Kelly might want her to print out would be sticky on the back

Second Worst Interview.... Heidi Montag
Who: Dean at FIDM
Why: No idea. She was already accepted but meeting with the Dean to discuss her future.
What: Hilarious. Heidi had no desire to go to school and didn't even think to sugarcoat it. When she tried to reason with Heidi and see if she might get started in retail, Heidi didn't even attempt to hide her disgust. No, she does not want to work on the floor. Also had not read the course catalogue, has no desire to do anything but be the fun party PR girl.
Favorite moment: When asked how she was as a student in high school, Heidi responds with, "Oh I dont' know, I didn't really do my homework. I didn't really like school."

Second Best Interview... Lauren Conrad
Who: Lisa Love at Teen Vogue
Why: It was her chance at her first internship, in the one city where anything can happen...
What: Starts off with chaos. LC gets a call just as she pulls up to the Hillside Villas with her hot pink wheelie. She has to dash to Teen Vogue, leaving Heidi behind calling after her, "I'll be at the pool if you need anything!" Lauren is composed, albeit awkward, and seems to handle herself well under the watchful eye of Lisa Love. She tells Lisa, "Teen Vogue, its like, the top. And I man, thats where I get my ideas for things that I do."
Favorite Moment part of the convo:
LL: Can you write?
LC: Can I... write? yeah..?
LL: Well?
LC: Yeah...

The Lost Shows of MTV

2009-04-13T12:54:00.001-07:00

As always, when the seasons change, we are forced to pause and reflect on how our lives too have changed. Recently, Beau and Belle began thinking about the various changes in the MTV lineup over the years. We thought we'd put together a little list we like to call, The Lost shows of MTV. Please enjoy this little trip down memory lane and feel free to let us know if we've forgotten one of your favorites.

Rich Girls
Surf Girls
8th and Ocean
Road Rules
Maui Fever
Laguna Beach
Undressed
Singled Out
Dance Life
Tiara Girls
Pageant Place
Life of Ryan
The Paper
Twentyfourseven
Newlyweds
Bam's Unholy Union
Til Death Do us Part
Daria
Wanna come in?
Beavis and Butthead
Celebrity Deathmatch
Cheyenne
There and Back
Taquita and Kaui
Meet the Barkers

Thank You

2009-04-13T12:34:00.000-07:00

Dear Liz Gately,

On behalf of Beau, Belle, and our countless fans, we wanted to extend a heartfelt Thank You for your continuing service at MTV studios. The Hills Season 5 premiered on April 6 at 10 pm EST, and once again, you've created a hit. A few things I would like to comment on:
1. Lauren's lipstick, not into it, but snaps to her courageous fashion efforts
2. Stephanie's face, did anyone else think it looked bloated?
3. Heidi lying to Spencer while the gal's got ready for Lauren's bday. Loving her sneaky white lies. I felt like I was watching a PG version of Sleeping with the Enemy. Is Spencer going to start yelling at her when the towels aren't lined up properly?
4. Audrina's hair. What's with this color? I don't give her snaps. Bring back the chocolate brown.
5. Spencer's fight wit Cameron. Wow. There is so much to say here, but honestly I was shocked to find out that Cameron needed stitches. It looked to me like Spencer just bitch slapped him a few times. Seriously, watch it again. He had an open fist. Lame ass.
6. Colby + Darlene 4eva - Oh, man Darlene you are a stitch. I was dying when Colby came in and sat down. Perfect.
7. The Montag's house in Colorado. This has always been a confusing aspect of the show. At the risk of sounding awful, I could have sworn in Season 4 it was, like, a one room shed. Now it seems to be revitalized. Could this be the fruits of Darlene's labor when she spilled all in the memorable Us Weekly post-faux-Montag-Pratt nuptuals?
8. Thought for sure Lo would be included in the opening credits but alas, only three girls this season. So why does comcast still say starring Lauren Conrad and Whitney Port?
9. It's nice to see Audrina and Lo bonding over the one thing they have in common
10. Pour some sugar on me? That's what gets you to dance on the bar? You are the trashiest of the trashiest miss. bartender? Do you know what gets Beau and Belle to dance on the bar??? Nothing. They'll dance to the humm of the air conditioning unit.
11. Lauren Conrad's nail polish is so dark... is America's Sweetheart reading Twilight?

Liz, not only did you provide us with these wonderful moments and endless topics of discussion, but once again we were greeted with priceless words to live by from our cast members. A few of our favorites:

"It's just funny that the two people that they burned, are the only two people they have left to call."

"My favorite memories are my memories of you."

"Ohhh you remembered her birthday."

"I know Lo didn't invite her, I'm just trying to be nice"

"Good Luck with that"

Thanks again Liz. Here's to a great season,
Love always and forever,
Beau and Belle

Goodbye

2009-04-01T13:04:00.000-07:00

After 3 years of blogging, Beau and Belle have decided to end wwjbd due to lack of comments. We thank those of you that did comment and only wish more of our fans could have helped make this site a success. We have blogged with our hearts and our souls and wish you all luck in the future.

April Fools

The Real World? Real Bore.

2009-03-26T10:31:00.000-07:00

As the Brooklyn season comes to a close, I can't help but admit the cold, boring truth staring me in the face every Wednesday night at the 10 spot; this season sucked. Sure, we got an extra roommate (and sadly, it wasn't because they counted Katelyn twice); but the even number just created an even split between the roommates. And not in a good, fun, drama conflicty kind of way. The happy quartet of boring girls played cards all day while the equally boring quartet of boys played pranks. Oh right, the pranks! Even the pranks couldn't save this season. Any other season would have included the pranks on their "Real World You Never Saw" DVD as a fun extra. Not as the meat and potatoes of the show.

Let's talk about some highlights:

- Ryan singing songs with Chet going all googily eyed in the boat
- JD telling Devon that she was a terrible singer then making her have sing off against Tranny
- Scott giving Katelyn $1500 so she could stay to gamble and shop at Hot Topic.
-Chet's insanely awkward date with Scott's friend/Chet's insanely awkward audition at MTV/Chet's insanely awkward everything.
- Ryan finding out he was going to the army? Was that a highlight?

That's it.

I didn't see anyone throw up from drinking too much. None of the roommates hooked up. The hot-tub was utterly useless. No pregnancy scares. No phone calls to their signifcant others to warn them that they've been naughty. NO VACATION. This season was so bad that the producers didnt' even spend the money to send them on vacation. Remember those trips? Greece, India, Australia, Africa. But no, no. Real World Brooklyn went to Gettysburg and Atlantic City. And their party bus was an insult to Real World fans everywhere. All I could think about was how Denver Jenn and Colie would have rocked that bus. But instead, everyone lounged, watched scenic New Jersey pass them by.

I like these characters, I do. What's not to like about Ryan and Scott? But I think we all know the highlights of last night's episode were the Hills trailer (Audrina and Brody?!) and seeing that Ruthie is going to participate in the Duel II (intervention anyone).

Cheers to the finale.

Beau's Every Now and Again Wrap Up

2009-03-24T06:51:00.000-07:00

And now WWJBD proudly presents an Every Now and Again News Report from Beau

Hola! Bonjour! Konnichi-Wa! Shalom! Guten Tag! Yia Sou! Sawa Dee-Krap! oh, and Yia Sou!

Huuuuuuuuge news for Kirsten Dunst this week, she spotted Beau and Belle at the 7:30 Duplicity in Trendy Tribeca! March Madness officially kicks into high gear with all four #1 teams advancing into sweet sixteen spots. Barack Obama making an appearance on that not funny Jay Leno show. When asked about his critics in Washington, Obama compared them to Simon Cowell of American Idol. Insert Simon Cowell joke here. In sad news actress Natasha Richardson was laid to rest Sunday after a freak fall on a beginners ski slope is Canada. Beau and Belle send their best wishes to Liam, Daniel and Jack.

Beau's Weekly Wrap Up

2009-03-06T07:10:00.000-08:00

And now WWJBD proudly presents a Weekly News Report from Beau.

Hello to all my countless, countless fans. I wanted to share with you some of the top stories from this week Mar 1-7. Burrr it’s cold here. That’s because March roared in like a ferocious, bitch lion and dropped hundreds of feet of snow along the Eastern seaboard. NYC closed its public schools for the first time Monday since 2004! Holy Cow! - Princess Rihanna of Barbados reportedly together again with musician Chris Brown. Brown was charged with two felonies yesterday for beating up her highness last month. The unemployment rate reached 8.1% in February, it’s highest in 25 years. Now for some good news. Millions of people everywhere gear up for St. Patrick’s Day tomorrow and Beau will be celebrating at Belle’s party. So buy some green shit and come on down to have a beer.

Beau's Weekly Wrap Up

2009-02-24T09:24:00.000-08:00

And now WWJBD proudly presents a Weekly News Report from Beau.

Hey millions of fans across the world, I wanted to share with you the top stories from this week Feb 22-28. I got two spider bites, one is on my thumb the other my neck. Nadya ‘Octomom’ Suleman tells Dr. Phil babies were a mistake. Suleman has been offered 1 million dollars to star in a porno video however rival porn company has offered a year supply of diapers not to show octopussy. Some bill was passed in Congress. Jason Wahler calls off his engagement to Katja Decker saying the couple is "too young and too sober". Sean Penn, Kate Winslet, Heath Ledger, and Penelope Cruz all take home Oscars.RIP HL <3 4EVER. And finally, the new trailer for Season 5 of The Hills is online at:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VPXC9oV224k

25 Things You Never Knew About Beau and Belle...

2009-02-09T09:04:00.000-08:00

1. Beau's real name is Zachary
2. Belle's real names is Eileen
3. Beau's favorite season of the Real World is Seattle and his favorite character Irene
4. Belle's favorite season is Hawaii/ Las Vegas and her favorite character is Colin.
5. In 9th grade, Beau hosted a "Dress like your favorite Real World character" party. Belle dressed as Montana, Beau as Judd.
6. Beau has 9 toes (4 1/2 on each foot)
7. Belle had the second biggest head in the 7th grade.
8. In high school, Beau and Belle participated in the production and filming of "The Real World: Westfield." It premiered in December 1998 and made its reappearance at Beau's graduation party in May 2001.
9. Beau and Belle's favorite SingStar song is Run DMC's "It's Tricky."
10. Beau is a certified advanced open water scuba diver.
11. Belle has 2 fish named after Dame Judi Dench and Justine Simmons.
12. Beau currently has no pets. RIP Broadway.
13. When Belle was a freshman in college, she purchased two pieces of artwork that were created by Melissa of the Real World New Orleans. She found them on her website www.princessmelissa.com and then displayed them in her college dorm.
14. Beau has seven tattoos.
15. Belle played the clarinet in junior high and was a member of the Jazz Band.
16. Beau's favorite quote from Titanic is "you can be blasé about some things, Rose, but not about Titanic. It's over a hundred feet longer than the Mauritania and far more luxurious."
17. Beau and Belle's favorite day of the year is move-in day at the Real World house.
18. Beau is proud to be a classified 504 student, under the Americans with disabilities Act and spends his time educating others and singing about being 504.
19. Belle's favorite quote from Titanic is, "The water is freezing and there aren't enough boats!"
20. Beau is afraid of Alligators and Crocodiles
21. Beau and Belle were named best costume in 2008 by Ricky's float in the NYC Halloween parade. They were dressed as Double Dare. *
22. Beau is able to do an uncanny imitiation of Macy Gray's "I Try"
23. When Belle sucks helium, she sounds just like Lacey Chabert from Party of Five.
24. Beau and Belle outsource their photoshop needs for WWJBD to Dan Egan. Beau and Belle don't know how to photoshop.
25. Neither Beau nor Belle can remember the reason why they started their blog.

*This was the best day of their lives.

Diary of a Mad Black Woman: Bellisha and Beaubeau make their dreams come true

2009-01-26T19:51:00.000-08:00

The following contains the detailed events of a recent Friday night and the quest to find Whitney Port. The bloggers would like you to know that copious amounts of Stella, Smithwicks, and distilled vodka were consumed during the creation of this entry.

1/23/09, 7:52 PM - Hoboken Path Station
Beau and Belle off to a shaky start - just missed the path but remain in high spirits.
Supplies:
Whit/Olivia twists
Notebook
Us weekly (earmarked to the page with Whit on the beach in Miami)
Cards
Vampire in a box
most importantly... DRIVE

8:01 PM - A Haiku
Eight oh one depart
Off to Whitney's apartment
I hope it's a blast.

8:06 - on path train
Train stops underground - dropping off mole people. More to come.

8:27 PM
SPOTTED: Beau and Belle in front of Whit's building! Beau freaked, false alarm but he chased people down the street. Starbucks on the corner, bet that's where she gets her morning cup of joe.

8:38 PM
Still no sign of Whitney and I'm pretty sure the couple I chased down the street was not them. why aren't there more people here doing the same thing? Reporting live from 3rd and 23rd.
PS Belle just saw Cam Anthony
Also, code word for when we see Whit is "Shake Shack."

8:46 PM
On pay phone on her corner. Calling Z100 to tell them what we're doing - drinking orange juice and vodka out of a water bottle. Belle is paranoid that people are onto us.

8:49 PM
No one is onto us. But there are a lot of Whitney look alikes in this neighborhood. Her presence is felt almost like a sixth sense. I'm drawn to her like Bella and Edward, or Jack and Rose, or Wall-e and Eva.

Where are you whit? Do you go to Rolf's German Restaurant for weinerschnitzel? Bull's Head tavern for a brewski? CVS for feminine products? Is Lyric Diner always your last stop on your way home from Tenjune? Why oh why did I have to see someone from high school and work while I stalk you?

9:00 PM
The cold is setting upon us like the freezing cold Lake Wissota. It feels like a thousand knives stabbing you all over your body. How cold? Freezing. Maybe a couple of degrees over.

9:38 PM
Beau and Belle at local watering hole, Bull's Head Tavern, hoping Whit will breeze in. Probably not because these bartenders think they are in Coyote Ugly but act like the mermaid in the hit movie Aquamarine.

A Haiku
UGLY BARTENDERS
YOU'RE NOT BRINGING SEXY BACK
BLOG ARE NOT FOR BARS.

Also, while bartenders slut it up and take shots, the poor coat check girl sits in the corner, dressed in black, reading a magazine - every inch of flesh covered. I bet Whit talks to her.

9:43 PM - A Poem, in four parts

Whit, we came to look for you,
On twenty third and third,
Your blatant absence makes us blue,
Our behavior has been absurd.

Whit, we came to look for you,
On this wintry day,
A subway ride, a short brisk walk,
There's so much left to say.

Whit, we came to look for you,
That's why we're across the street,
See you at Bull's Head Tavern,
Finally, the three of us will meet.

Whit we came to look for you,
We don't think that's a shocker,
We circle your block three, four times,
But promse that we're not your stalkers.

11:10 PM - King's Crossing
Beau and Belle meet friends and tell them their tales.
Spotted: CM making out with J. Jew at King's Crossing, lower east side

11:11 PM, guest blogger Jessica Bowers checks in
Here we are at an underground bar...surrounded by friends. These two bloggers next to me are obsessed with Whit. I am drinking vodka tonic and Belle is singing in my ear. But the big question is, where is Whit? And does she like being stalked?

12:06 AM
At fat Black Pussycat with our guest blogger Jessica "Boom Boom" Bowers. I wish Whitney woudl get here already and we could dance and play darts. Does anyone know if she's at Sundance? This is straight from my heart.

Free Association with Beau, Belle and Guest Blogger
Audrina - eyes, boobs, spacey
Teen Vogue - Lauren Conrad, Lisa Love, "boss's name that I don't know"
Laguna Beach - Kristin Cavallari, Stephen Colletti, black and white party

1/24/09 - 12:42 AM
Beau and Belle are in the 9th street path station.

A Haiku
Faces are flush
Drinks have been drunk
Slobs are going home

Where are you, Whitney?

Seasons of Booze

2009-01-09T13:24:00.000-08:00

sung to RENT's SEASON OF LOVE

Five Thousand Twenty Nine Hundred Fourteen Cameras
Twenty One Fish Tanks and Three Hundred One Fish
Eleven Thousand Sixteen bright, shiny lightbulbs
How do you measure – measure a show?

In Ratings – In Night Clubs
In Hot Tubs – or late night fist fights
In cocktails – Confessionals
In Cities – In Strife

In Five Hundred Twenty One Thousand
Six Hundred Commercials
How do you Measure
Seven Strangers in a house?

How About Booze
How About Booze
How About Booze
Measure in Booze

Seasons of Booze
Seasons of Booze

Belle:
Six Hundred Twenty Eight Thousand people Audition
Twenty One Seasons and One Hundred Fifty Six Friends
Three Hundred Thousand Ninety Hours of filming
How do you measure, a show that never ends

Beau:
When Steven slapped Irene
Or Danny's mom died
When Paula said she ate
You know that she lied

It's Time Now - To Watch Out
For The Show Never Ends
Let's Celebrate
Remember A Year In The Life Of Friends

Happy Holidays!

2008-12-12T18:38:00.001-08:00

Happy Holidays!

Love,

Beau and Belle

Nana Fanna Fo Fanna, Mi My Mo Manna.... Nana

2008-12-02T12:48:00.000-08:00

THE INITIAL STATEMENT

Yeah, hi. I tuned in to watch an episode of The Hills last night. Not Golden Girls: Huntington Beach edition. WTF is up wth Nana? Why did MTV feel compelled to dedicate 8 of the 10 minutes of the show where characters are actually conversing... to Nana?

First of all, NANA, if that is your real name... why aren't you disagreeing with Stephanie that Spencer is your favorite? In the grand tradition of elderly family members, aren't you supposed to claim that you have no favorites? That you love them all the same? And it's not like I think Stephanie should be your favorite because, ugh. But the point is, you shouldn't have a favorite. That's bullsh*t.

Second of all, why did Spencer need to explain the LC/Heidi situation to you? Do you live in the world? Do they not deliver Us Weekly, People magazine, and NBC to Huntington? Also, according to the Aftershow, you LOVE The Hills. You should know this feud like the back of your Pratt hand. So why play dumb?

And finally, have you met your grandchild Spencer Pratt? He talks around you like he assumes you can't hear what he's saying. How do you not see through him and that he was blatantly guilt-tripping Stephanie into visiting you? He is a maje prick. Does he really call you once a week? I don't know how you stand it. You either have the same tolerance for idiodacy as Chiara, or you're dumb as rocks in your old age.

Belle

THE REBUTTAL

"A conservative is someone who makes no changes and consults his grandmother when in doubt." - Woodrow T. Wilson

I enjoyed The Hills last night. Usually, I'm disappointed by the lack of grandparents on my favorite reality tv shows. So to see Spencer and Stephanie interact with their Nana, to me, was a breath of fresh air. I think this is going to be a growing trend on tv and cant wait to see more of my favorite MTV stars (besides Joey from Real World Hollywood) interact with their grandmas. .

I wonder if Spencer realizes he's at a crossroads and thats why he consulted Nana? Let's be honest. This season is stale, everyone is waiting for The City, Lauren has alienated all of her BFFs, and how long can Spencer keep a feud with his sister going? We need new drama, and not the fake kind of drama but the really real kind. So I think its endearing Spencer brought his Nana into the thick of it, and I think its a strategic move. I'd like to see LC try and impart some words of wisdom on Nana because let's be honest, Nanas have already heard and seen it all.

On a side note, my own Nana died in a Nursing home in March 2005. I miss you. I should have been a better grandson and visited you more. I hope wherever you are, you are happy and with Poppop.

Beau

If Beau were President...

2008-11-11T11:29:00.001-08:00

If Beau were President he would make Lauren Conrad Vice President. Every morning he would use his LG Shine from AT&T to call Lauren and discuss foreign and national policy. They would also create an all white fashion line branded WHITE HOUSE.

If Beau were Presdent he would make Spencer Pratt Secretary of Defense. He would turn Spencer into the ultimate fighting Maverick focusing all of his aggresive behavior off of his sister and onto Al Quadian loving terrorists. He would let Spencer wild in Afghanistan to personally hunt and kill Osama Bin Laden.

If Beau were President he would make Whitney Port Secretary of State. She has been to Paris twice, and everybody loves Whitney.

If Beau were President, he'd make Frankie Delgado Press Secretary because nobody gets a party started like Frankie.

If Beau were President he would make Lisa Love his Secretary of Interior (Design) because ever since she was a runaway teen she's had impeccable taste.

If Beau were President, he would make Adam Divello and Liz Gately joint Chiefs of Staff because they are American heroes, and can do no wrong.

If Beau were President, he would change the national anthem to "Womanizer."

If Beau were President, he would implement Taco Tuesdays and Waffle Shirt Wednesdays.

Finally, If Beau were President he would pardon Heidi Montag for all her bad decisions.

Single White Female Seeks Loving Parents for Estranged Twenty-Somethings

2008-10-16T06:53:00.000-07:00

Currently looking for loving parents to reunite their two doting children. Both children are in their twenties and are fighting over reasons even they can't remember.(1) The first, Spencer, is a caring older brother who just wants to be closer to his sister, but can't find the strength to take the first step. (2)Stephanie, his younger sister, lives in anguish over their disagreement. (3) They need their parents to help pick up the pieces and put them back together. Both Spencer and Stephanie are beloved American icons and are role models for today's youth.(4) If their parents are out there, please contact these two and make amends. We want nothing more than to see them happy and renewing our sense of family values. (5)

(1) Spencer is pissed because Stephanie is rolling with Lauren Conrad, his mortal enemy. "Don't you have any sense of family loyalty?"
(2) He really wants nothing to do with Stephanie and said he knew from when she was born that she was a bad egg.
(3) She's having a blast rolling around with LC's posse. Except for when Brody makes her cry. And when Doug makes her cry.
(4) Stephanie was arrested two years ago for shoplifting over $1,300 worth of merchandise in Hawaii. Spencer made his girlfriend's mom cry.
(5) Mr. and Mrs. Pratt, where the f*ck are you? Your kids are a mess and publicly hate each other. Your son is controlling and your daughter is manipulative. Get it together. Your parenting skills are far more embarrassing than Lauren Conrad's sex tape.

DUNBAR? DUMBNAME

2008-10-16T06:14:00.000-07:00

Beau is really sick about what took place last night. No. Not the presidential debate. A different kind of vote. One that actually matters to Joe sixpack. Last night, Dunbar voted off his fellow Aussie cast member in order to maintain in the alliance on Real World/Road Rules The Island. It was a vote that shocked America. How could such a sweet Southern boy with sociopathic tendencies send home his good friend Calhutta??? It was just really obnoxious. So Dunbar, you are dead to me and Calhutta, I will miss you buddy and yes, I will keep my back to the wind. Always and Forever.

Haikus

2008-03-27T07:31:00.001-07:00

Beau's Poetry Corner

Evelyn and Brooke
Met in the Mexican Sun
Their love lasts forever

Spencer make that book
Of things you have done, and then
Do the opposite

Aimez-vous Paris?
Quelle huere a Colette ferme?
Merci, Lisa Love

CATCH 22 LOVE

2007-12-04T06:27:00.001-08:00

HEY LAUREN AND JEN B, BEAU AND BELLE CALL WINNER!

The Dirt Alert

2007-11-27T10:38:00.000-08:00

http://www.palazzoeast.com
Look familiar?

That's right folks, we're told Hillside Villas is not the actual name of LC and Audrina's pad

Also, is it true that Heidi and Spencer don't actually live at their apartment? A source close to the couple tells Belle and Beau that they just film for the show there. They actually live with Spencer's parents.

This should not be surprising for those of you who tuned into the aftershow following Spencer's visit to Crested Butte. Heidi said that she sees his parents all the time, and that they "practically live with them."

This brings up so many questions; if they live with his parents, why the concern over if they know about their wedding? Is the wedding really going to happen? Is this the biggest hoax in TV history?

For those of you who were offended by Spence's lil sis, check out her dark past. Just goes to show, anyone who offends Frankie Delgado has another thing coming...

http://www.starmagazine.com/spencer_sister_stephanie_pratt_arrest/celebrity_news_gossip/entertainment/13434

Jellyfish

2007-11-27T06:38:00.000-08:00

(Disclaimer to our 5's of 10's of fans out there; the following is from an irate Beau who shares an affinity for sea life with his counterpart, Zach. If you know anything about the whereabouts of the jellyfish mentioned below, plese let him know. Thank you - Belle)

Seriously, what keeps happening to Heidi's pets? First Bella and now the Jellyfish! Does anyone actually believe Heidi forgot to pay the electric bill? It doesnt take a Hills blogger to smell the BUUUULLLLLSHIT. So where are the Jellyfish? Good thing Beau's a certified Open Water Scuba diver. Beau promises to get to the bottom of this scandal... stay tuned.

Everything I ever needed to know, I learned from Lauren Conrad.

2007-11-13T06:32:00.000-08:00

My Dad always told me 'Flowers mean I'm sorry, chocolates mean I love you

Love is not a maybe thing; you know when you love someone.

I think that everyone can change if the right person comes along, and I think that every girl wants to be the right person. Every girl wants to be the one girl that can change that guy.

I know there's a difference between good people who do bad things and bad people who do bad things.

Go with your gut, but use your head.

You should have a guy that makes you feel happier, not upset. I don't think that's too much to ask for.

Why is it that just when you get things together, you hear from the one person who could pull it all apart?

I think you just want to be with him when he's the good Justin. But he can't always be the good Justin. And you can't just like half of who a person is.

There's just something about those bad boys that we always end up going back to.

Sometimes, when you love someone? You want to believe that they're good."

Midautumn Night's Dream

2007-11-05T07:27:00.000-08:00

It's just a regular Friday night at the Shannon pub in Hoboken. Rihanna resonates in the background as fellow 24 year olds play darts in the corner. Beau and Belle stumble into the bar, drunk and laughing, thinking of pizza and reality TV.

After a quick shot of Patron, Beau notices a boy sitting at the bar in a red t-shirt that says, "Laguna." After letting out an audible gasp, he pokes Belle and points at the wonderous apparel. Belle finishes her Miller Lite in one giant gulp before turning to this boy.

Belle: Um, excuse me? But like, are you FROM Laguna?

Boy: Yeah, actually, I am.

(Beau gasps)
Belle: OMG shut it! I can't, thats amazing.

Boy: Actually, I'm Lauren Conrad's cousin.

(Lights immediately dim on the entire bar, spotlight shines on Beau, Belle, Boy, and Boy's down-on-his-luck friend. Beau steadies himself against the bar, Belle gasps, Boy looks on smugly)

Belle: WHAT?!?! omg omg omg no WAY! You're so lying.

Lauren Conrad's Cousin: I'm not I swear.

Belle: I'm going to quiz you. Where does Lauren go to school? What is Lauren's younger brother's name? Where did Lauren spend her 20th birthday? Where did Lauren spend her 21st birthday? Where was Lauren and Stephen's first kiss?

Lauren Conrad's cousin: FIDM. Brandon. Mexico. Surprise party thrown by Heidi in LA. Her bedroom, after looking at yearbook photos for a potential boyfriend.

Belle: My god. You are for real.

Beau: I'm not convinced, prove it.

Lauren Conrad's Cousin: Fine. I'll text her right now.

(Cousin fumbles with his Blackberry while Beau and Belle hold hands - two minutes elapse, Beau and Belle each finish a beer while Boy drums his fingers on the bar. Suddenly, the ding of a text message)

Lauren Conrad's Cousin: See? She wrote back.

(Beau and Belle peer over his Blackberry, in their drunken haze they only notice the words "lauren" and "i'm here with brody." Beau and Belle freak out)

Beau: What do you know? Tell us what you know, tell me secrets, tell me everything.

Lauren Conrad's Cousin: Lo is a cokehead, my friend dated her in high school. Lauren really didn't want to do this season of the Hills. Also, it ends with Heidi dumping Spencer and her and Lauren being friends again.

Belle (in disbelief): What!? How?? They were just on the beach last week filming her music video.

Lauren Conrad's Cousin: Look, I'm just telling you what I know.

Beau (nervously): Um, can we take a picture with you?

Belle, Beau, Lauren Conrad's Cousin, and his down-on-his-luck friend gather at the corner of the bar and smile for posterity.

Exeunt flourish

Lauren Conrad's Cousin

2007-11-05T06:44:00.000-08:00

Dear Lauren Conrad’s Cousin,

We met at The Shannon in Hoboken on November 2nd 2007 at 11:13 pm. There is no doubt in my mind that you won’t find this, as you seemed very self-aware and someone who might google their own name or simply “Lauren Conrad’s cousin”. I’ll never be able to share with you the rush of excitement as I looked over and saw your Laguna t-shirt. I know Belle felt the same and while it was her who spoke first - it was me that watched. I watched as your mole grew into a piece of a dirt and then slowly back into a mole again. I watched your friend roll his eyes as you started texting LC. I watched as your face lit with joy when Belle asked where Lance and Ash were spotted kissing and you immediately shouted Gramercy Park Hotel! I watched it all. Just like Liz watched as she plucked Lauren out of a plethora of blue eyed, blonde Orange County teenaged girls. And just like God and baby Jesus watch down on Adam Divello. Thank You Lauren Conrad’s cousin. You made my night.

Love,

Beau

Beau's Poetry Corner - Ode to Adam Divello

2007-08-30T10:48:00.000-07:00

A dventurous
D ependable
A wesome
M tv

D iverse
I ntellegent
V irtuous
E legant
L es Duex
L aguna
O pen-minded

2007-08-30T10:14:00.000-07:00

Excerpt from Beau's Upcoming LitErotica Corner

It was hard for Heidi to put all of Jordan's things into a box. But deep down she knew it had to be done. It was going to be a rough couple of weeks, and Heidi knew it would be Jordan's stiff cock that she would miss the most. But to get over her break up, she had promised Audrina to go out every night that summer. So that was what she would do. Go to Area and pound a few red bulls, just to get herself back out there.

"We're going to have so much fun" Audrina gushed as she blankly stared at Heidi's new Fendi.

"So much fun" Heidi replied. But inside she already knew it would be a difficult night. Her only hope was to get smashed on red bull and find the first cute boy to fuck. The only way to fill her up, was to literally fill her up.

Area was jumpin' and Heidi felt hot when she walked in with Audrina. "What did you just say?" She turned and asked Audrina

"Right foot. Left foot. It helps to repeat that when I'm walking" Audrina again gushed

Heidi pushed her way through the crowd and cut across the dance floor when she saw him. Black shirt? Check. Sunglasses? Check. Board Shorts? Check. She had met Anthony at an MTV press release, but he was with Chaunte at the time. Well, he was alone tonight and the sight of him in the club was making Heidi's panties damp.

- - - For more on Heidi and Anthony's hook-up keep checking WWJBD - - -

Beau's Poetry Corner

2007-08-24T09:29:00.000-07:00

Haikus

Who would you rather
Buy you red bull at Les Duex?
Jason or Brody

My name's Parisa
Where's my burqa you wonder
At home with Dunbar

Chrissy I'm sorry
embarassing you but we
said no boys, love dad

Crush, Interrupted.

2007-08-23T07:30:00.000-07:00

Two bloggers reflect on the beginning of a new journey; their first blog starring Justin Bobby.

Mission statement?
Say what you mean. Mean what you say. And say it mean.

"Crush, Interrupted"

Belle: Hey party boy.

Beau: Hey party girl. Is anything on our site?

Belle: No I need to brainstorm with you.

Beau: We could post some of our conversations. And I also want a creative writing section. With literotica stories using Real World characters.

Belle: I love it. Okay so... should we have a convo now?

Beau: Should we? Should we use our real names? Is this it? Is this the convo?

Belle: I dont know how to begin.

Beau: I'm so nervous. I feel like Rodrigo y Gabriela crossing the border

Belle: I'm as nervous as Heidi was when she had to tell Lauren she was moving in with Spencer.

Beau: Wow. That such a weird day, she told Lauren and moved out 30 minutes later

Belle: I know. And something tells me she never ended up going to Taco Tuesdays

Beau: I'll tell you who was at Taco Tuesdays
rodrigo
y
gabriela

Belle: They sure were.

Beau: ok. Are we done? Was that good?

Belle: I dont know. Should we do that again? Should we post this?

Beau: I dont know!! i'm freaking out!

Belle: Me too.

Beau: I've never blogged before.

Belle: Me neither. Alright I'm going to post it. But lets think of a name for it. Was there any line in any episode about being nervous, or starting something new?

Beau: Crush, interrupted. And umm... we should change our names. What should your name be? I'll be Blade or Bolt. Beau. I'll be Beau

Belle: Great! What should I be?

Beau: Belle? Greta?

Belle: Belle